This is a step by step guide to exercise as a breastfeeding mother. This is no easy feat and takes a lot of hard work.
Step 1- Get Dressed
Put on a workout outfit including a sports bra that is much too small for your engorged breasts.
Step 2-Nurse Baby
Go to nurse your lovely baby or toddler so that you can make it through your whole workout without nursing. Attempt nursing and realize there is no way you can nurse while wearing your too-small sports bra. Take off sports bra. Nurse. Of course, baby refuses to eat from one side. Now you are lopsided and your left breast decided to squirt while you were nursing. Your shirt is soaked through and some got on your yoga pants (Lularoe leggings but shhhh!)
Step 3- Repeat Step 1
Put sports bra back on, admire your lopsided breasts. Then, find new workout shirt and lularoe leggings, I mean yoga pants. To save yourself some stress just put on your husband’s shirt… it fits better.
Step 4- Place children
Place older children first while holding your baby so he or she feels all the cuddles before you have to work out and not hold them. Older children can be set up with a craft table you made using pinterest or the television. I usually opt for the television. Make sure the movie is the perfect one or you will be distracted by the words, “Mommy, why are you doing that? Mommy, you’re so silly when you kick like that! Mommy, look what I can do! Mommy, you’re scaring me.”
Next, place your nursling. Make sure to start working out immediately after you put him or her down because as we all know, the time you can be away from your baby is slim. I prefer any kind of swing or activity center.
Step 5- Start exercising
While you are exercising make sure to do the following:
- Make funny faces at baby to keep them entertained
- Sing comforting songs to an awkward rhythm to keep baby calm
- Don’t move too suddenly or baby will scream and panic and toddler will start making comments
Step 6- Get interrupted
“Mommy! I need to go potty!!!!!!!”
“Okay, love, please go by yourself”
“I CAN’T GO BY MYSELF”
“You did all day yesterday”
*talking to themself* “HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT”
This is when you must pause to go take your older child(ren) to go potty. While you are gone baby will notice. Continue awkward song so baby knows you did, in fact, not die, but you are just a few steps away.
Step 7- Continue exercising
Phew, your baby is still playing happily thanks to your wonderful singing. Continue to exercise. Try your best to ignore the strain of your sports bra.
Step 8- Snack break
Crash around 20 minutes into your workout video from lack of calories due to nursing all day and forgetting to eat. Stop to eat a banana. Try to eat it without your children noticing. Toddler does notice and now demands a snack. The show you chose is not interesting enough clearly. Quickly give toddler a snack to get back to exercising. Be careful in your choice of snack. The snack must not be messy or require adult supervision. Snack must also be time consuming .
Step 8-Nurse again
Now your baby feels that you have left TWICE and is suddenly starving for that left side when they see their sibling eating. Nurse baby to comfort him or her. Remember to take off your sports bra. While nursing, your toddler screams causing baby to unlatch and you are now covered in your own milk. Again.
Step 9-Live to exercise another day
Change clothes again and go with a nursing bra. You can exercise tomorrow mama. Remember, nursing by itself can burn 600 calories a day. You are doing great. In the meantime use snapchat filters to make you feel better.